Wherefore art thou "Notme"?

Notme, if you're reading this I think we could do business. Seriously. Why give yourself a bad name getting my kids into trouble when you and I could scratch each others backs, so to speak? To date you have been blamed during the following interrogations;
"Who wrote on the wall?"
"Who pooed and didn't flush?"
"Who spilt cereal all over the floor?"
"Who pulled the curtain down from the railing?"
"Who put silly spray all over the ceiling?
"Who told Leah there were spiders in the toilet?"

Notme, are you getting tired of these juvenile pranks yet? How about we do some good in the world? Imagine my delight and joy to get up tomorrow and ask myself "Who made these lunches? Notme" Or "Who did the dishes?? Notme" Or "Who put the bins out?Notme" Or......or.....or....Oh be still my beating heart, "Who did ALL the laundry?" "It was my friend, NOTME, and I love him/her" I will leave you cookies, butter, whiskey, cans of Coke, whatever you want, wherever you want if you'd just defect to my side. Please. I'm begging you. And I will actually scratch your back if you want me to.
Hoping to hear back from you Notme,
Sincerely,
The Mom Who Cleans Up Your Mess.
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